I want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this possibility to see shining samples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for the first time in an extended while, I don’t feel alone.
Element of me wanted to remain longer, but beneath that desire was thinking that I will be doing so for the wrong reason; as a way to prevent my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I’d had any insights. What I’m about to talk about was not yet clear at that time; only on the drive away made it happen coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never should have told you, never should have allow you to see inside a course in miracles. Don’t want it troubling your mind, won’t you allow it to be?” This confused me as I could not think of anything that I’d said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the most prominent fear I’d in visiting the Monastery was that I’d somehow interfere having its residents’satisfaction, by just my presence alone. This belief that I could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for several years, and has colored many of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness right after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of is own videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel like the belief is being (has been?) released.
There are other issues that happened that felt important, but I can’t think of them right now.